Not hopeless

"A sacrifice?" I repeated in barely a whisper. A chill shot through my system like an escaped convict. My eyes started to water as the thoughts ran through my head. This is the end? I'll make no mark on the world? No chance to spread His word? No chance...to have a family. The thought of Michael sent another crushing blow. I gasped as the tears flowed. The men around me were laughing―laughing at my dilemma. I didn't care.

Oh, Michael! I didn't even get to say goodbye. Why did I go over the stupid fence. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Oh, Micheal, I won't ever see you―

And that's when it hit me. Every other thought came to a dead halt, as this new one came into view. I realized what I was about to say was a lie, so wrong, in fact, that a hysterical laugh escaped my lips. It isn't hopeless. I will never be hopeless!

Out of nowhere a jabbing pain to my back sent me sprawling forward. One of the men nailed me with their foot. I gasped as the air left me, and I went limp and thudded to the ground. But I didn't get back up. I lay there as the strange epiphany took root in my mind. I felt a comforting warmth come over me.

The thought that was my hope I kept in full view, ignoring the deriding comments of the on-watchers. My death would not be my end. I would join my heavenly Father in happiness forever. No matter what happened, from here on out, it would be only temporary. I could endure. And if I didn't, the end of this life would be but sweet honey to my lips. I soon realized I was now the one laughing and my audience was very quiet. I flexed my back to make sure it wasn't broken. There was a slight pain, but it moved. That was the important thing.

"What's wrong with her?" one voice said, followed by a swift jab to my side sending me over on my back.

I winced but didn't move otherwise, but I smiled at each bewildered face, not really seeing them.

"Take her up." Another more gruff voice said. "We keep moving."

And so I did.